February 16, 2002

Posted: February 17, 2014 in sethlestath

February 10, 2002; that day could be the worst day from whole of my journey. I have to face myself loosing someone I really loved, my mom. After a few days lying in the hospital dying, God finally took her away. It’s had for me not to cry, but it’s harder to let her go. I keep saying that it was not her time; not yet. But anyway it happened. It hurts me a lot. It’s like that part of me died along with her. But I don’t wanna falling apart; not now. I still have so many things to be done, and I don’t wanna to screw it all. I’m sure mom doesn’t want me to do that. I need to be strong, and I believe she helps me. But still it doesn’t make me feel alright. I’m still 21 for God sake, and I don’t think I deserve to get any of this. It’s like God’s always testing me for my strength. But I can’t blame this on God. Right now I’m just hoping that God will take care of my mom up there, and give her the happiness that she haven’t found it here. “Mom, thank you for your love and everything you’ve done to me for all this time. But I don’t wanna say goodbye ‘cause you’re always in my heart now, then, and forever. May your soul rest in peace.”    

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